A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
