That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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