I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
