Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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