Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize