i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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