What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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