I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
