So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
