There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
