you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
