he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
