Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
