let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
