apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
babies were throwing up all over the place
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
wow bdsm is so cute
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
