There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You don't make any sense
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