i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
