Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
