Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize