He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
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She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
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30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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