Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You need Xanax blowdarts
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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