I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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