Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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