if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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