It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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