his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
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