who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize