My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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