youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
