we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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