haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
