Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
