Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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