Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
