Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
