Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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