so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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