Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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