hotel room ftw
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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