lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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