Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
