Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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