A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
