i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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