I am full of burrito and curiosity
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
