Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
