my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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