Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
