whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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