my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
