Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
