beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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