dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
