He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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