remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
