Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
