We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
