Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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