I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
