He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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