I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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