i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
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its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
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Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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