my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
